It’s the little things that you really start to notice when moving to a foreign country. The small, seemingly insignificant stuff you don’t think about on a normal everyday basis. Those things start to creep into your mind, sometimes your heart, and I feel that it can make for a pretty fun list. So I made my fun list, a little Hump Day gift for you all… Feel free to add on to it in the comments if I missed something. Some advice for the future as we quickly move into the cold and dark winter everyone keeps talking about… and by “everyone”, I mean everyone:
-Speaking of which… Winter wind. When I came here everybody spoke incessantly about the cold and the dark winters. “Cold and dark” this, “cold and dark” that… ya’ll forgot to mention THE WIND! I don’t even notice the cold or the dark until THE WIND! Maybe say that from now on, “Denmark had cold, dark and WINDY winters.” That will definitely make someone think twice before moving in.
-Cheap plane tickets to other parts of Europe on airlines that aren’t trying to kill me. And by cheap, I mean cheap. AND and, sometimes you can even take a train skipping the whole plane garbage entirely.
-Door handles instead of knobs. I can’t tell you how many times I have bruised my forearm, bashed my hip, caught my sleeve or hooked my purse strap on all these stupid door handles. I’m getting used to it but, in a small apartment with a million doors, these silly inventions make me want to tear them off and get some all-American door knobs.
-Random doors all over the place. Why are the door handles such a pain in my butt? Because every room has a door. Since the weather has cooled down I’ve figured out that the doors are actually to keep the heat isolated to just one room, possibly two. But in a tiny apartment without much space, having even two doors opening into something like a small hallway is THE WORST! Let alone three, possibly four. THERE’S DOORS EVERYWHERE!!! Haven’t the Danes ever heard of Open Concept Design? Well, I guess open concept here might be expensive on the ole’ heating bill.... Ok, I get it now.
-Soft, warm, golden light all day long. ALL DAY LONG! It's a photographer's dream. Well, except for the days it rains......... which is every other day.
-Over-the-counter drugs? What’s that? If I need a drug (even a vitamin) I have to go to the Apotek (pharmacy) and wait in line to speak with a pharmacist about my issue. During cold season I can be in there, waiting for nasal spray, for up to a half hour. It’s just annoying. I don’t necessarily want to confirm with a pharmacist that my vitamin D is low or that my sniffles are cold or allergy based. JUST GIVE ME THE DRUGS and let me go home please.
-Pain killers and cold medicine. I miss my beloved NyQuil and Ibuprofen. I know that it’s “not good for me” according to some study or whatever but, in the US, they don’t necessarily care if it’s good or bad for you… they know you want to sleep. So sleep away! Take your pills and get to bed friend.
-Ground beef that isn’t 50% fat. Even the lower quality ground beef is on-par with American high-quality beef. The color, the texture, and the way it cooks… oh man it’s tasty. Like, I’m addicted. When we first got here we made hamburgers the size of pancakes thinking the cheap beef would be like the beef in the US, slowly cooking down to the size of a coaster. But no, we ended up with 2 pancake-sized hamburgers because the beef is not half fat in Denmark. You buy one pound of beef and you get to eat one pound of beef…. and it’s really good beef.
-Chicken is really good here too. Just really good and tasty chicken. I don’t even like chicken, my mom had a cookbook when I was a kid titled “365 ways to make chicken” and I’m pretty sure she took that seriously and tried to feed me chicken five days a week for 18 years. But the chicken here is not like the chicken in the US. It’s smaller in quantity, fresher, tastier and so very tender. I really like it, Denmark has revived my love for the chicken.
-Fruits and veggies rot and they rot in reverse. In the US you buy a basket of strawberries and when they go bad the outsides grow mold. I mean, the inside could still be good so if you’re cheap like me or trying to bake a cake, you can cut the moldy outside off and still use the inside bits. In Denmark, the fruit can still look good on the outside but when you cut into it, gross and rotten on the inside. That same strawberry will also only last about 3-4 days where in the US, I can keep the same basket of berries in the fridge for up to a week. Oh and they taste better here… so much better I don’t think I’ll ever look at strawberries the same when I go home.
-English books at the library. Oh look, there’s that book I wanted to read… and it’s in Danish.
-Cheap toys. Not really a thing here in Denmark. I mean, there’s Flying Tiger and Ikea but, if you want a brand-name toy like Peppa Pig or Paw Patrol, it’s twice the price as the ones in the US. But, I have to say, the quality is much better.
-Cheap Electronics. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Good luck finding a reasonably priced TV. Did your computer die? Well so did your bank account.
-“Traditional Danish Bathrooms”…. look it up.
-The lack of chemical-laden bathroom products. Sometimes I miss smelling good and having lustrous hair from bathroom products meant to kill me. I know I’m, like, “healthier” or whatever but I definitely don’t look as “preserved” as I did in the US.
-Free transportation for children under 12. I never really thought about how much I spent on transportation for my kid until I stopped spending money on transportation for my kid.
-Reliable Public Transportation. Dear United States of America, you don’t have any idea what you’re missing. Cars are stupid. I’m am in literal heaven not having to drive, fill, insure and fix a stupid car so I can avoid people for an hour in traffic 2-4 times a day.
-Denmark’s motto, “it’ll take between 2-3 weeks minimum.” Everything takes at least 2 weeks. Bank account, CPR, rental agreements, Doctor’s appointments (when they aren’t emergent, that’s only a week)… everything is at least 2 weeks. Two days in the US= two weeks in Denmark.
-No Hulu… Well, not without a VPN anyway.
-No “peanut butter” candy. Really no peanut butter. They have the chunky, oily, raw-style peanut butter but man I miss my Jiff and my peanut butter M&Ms and my Reese’s…… I could go on.
-No Pit bulls. Full BSL ban on Pit bulls. It hurts my heart.
-220volt instead of 110volt electricity. Then they charge a ton for power use. I’m like, why not make things in 110volt then, it would be more energy efficient right?
-Elections do not result in massive amounts of annoying-as-hell junk mail and horrible commercials telling me the opponents are direct descendants of the devil.
-Glorious sunrises instead of sunsets.
-Light switches turn on in the opposite direction…. doors also go the opposite way, pull instead of push.
-Overly complicated design fixes to help avoid wear and tear… for example: the S-train’s new wave-your-hands-around-like-an-idiot-automatic-doors. OR we could just not have the doors… Maybe that’s just me being an American.
-Passing on the right. Simple concept… I like it! Come across someone walking towards you on the sidewalk, pass on the right. Genius! Now I can just pass a person and avoid them and their eye contact completely.
-McDonalds and Starbucks are pretty much the same but 7-11 sells legit, tasty food. That’s kind of weird for me. Buying lunch at 7-11 and not having to call 911 after… so weird.
-The very liberal use of the "f-word."
-Dark, dreary, heavily contrasted and overly saturated photography is the popular norm. Hardly any of the “popular photographers” are women, most of them are men. Nothing else in Denmark as far as gender bias is concerned bothers me (because, honestly, it doesn’t exist) but the fact that almost all the working photographers are men and that their photos kiiiiiinda depress me, does.
-Danes have THE BEST senses if humor. If you don’t get it, then you’re a part of the joke. Sarcastic wit is king here and I love it!
-It’s rainy and it’s cold but the forecast says we will get 15 minutes of sun at 12:20pm! Let’s have a picnic.
