So I know everyone just LOVES my continuous lamentations and musings about life as an expat in Denmark, but this post has been designated to those asking the deeper questions… “How hard was it to immigrate to Denmark?” Well… my first response is “Hard AF!” But then again, I remember that I am an American and in America we have two major qualifications for doing and wanting most things: 1.Is it cheap? 2.Is it easy? This is probably also why multi-level marketing schemes like “Lula Roe” and “Herbalife” persist so well in the US. So if you take this into account it’s probably harder for me on an emotional level than, say, someone from Nigeria (definitely NOT on a tangible level). 

My husband and I started the actual immigration process about a year ago when we came to Scandinavia looking for the best music composition program for my husband to work on his masters degree. We visited two schools in Sweden and the school Aaron now attends here in Denmark, The Royal Danish Academy of Music. I remember the day we decided we wanted to immigrate to Europe quite fondly, actually. My daughter and I were playing at a little park together while my husband met with the head of the Music Composition program at RDAM. It was a really lovely autumn day. We had visited pretty much all the Swedish schools and, honestly, Aaron wasn't interested. We felt a little defeated by the whole thing until that fateful day in Denmark…

I remember I sat down on a bench to think and the clouds opened up to reveal the most warming sunlight… then I looked over and saw Aaron walking back from his meeting just glowing with happiness. He didn't say much when he got to me, he just smiled and hugged me. I asked him how it went and he simply replied, “they listened to my music.” 

I know it sounds strange to have something so obvious mean so much to someone but, in the music industry in America, everything is about “likes” and “followers.” No one ever listens to the music anymore and goes from that point forward. So when Aaron said that they listened to his music, what he really meant was they didn’t ask how many “YouTube subscribers” he had and used his actual talent as a means to admission. It was exhilarating! We hugged for a long time and as we hugged it was like a movie set! Birds flew around us WITHOUT POOP, the sun shone through the clouds with those heavenly rays, our daughter cheerfully playing in the background… in that moment we knew we were coming back in a year. I was filled with both joy and fear. 

So, I’ll skip ahead a little because it’s mostly boring until about January. We knew the whole thing was going to be expensive as hell so we got home from the trip and just started saving, saving, saving. We had already acquired a big chunk of our savings in an attempt to buy a home in southern California but we just couldn’t get enough money in the bank to catch up with the ever-increasing (and somewhat inflated) housing market in our home town, so we decided to spend it on going to Denmark and just tried to add as much as we could as fast as we could. The first step in immigration: Get a lot of money as fast as you can.

Even if you are coming to another country for work, you’ll have to save for that trip. It’s just a fact of life. If you think that you can just “sell all your stuff” and use that to move, you’re in for a seriously harsh surprise. Aaron and I have had to save and spend approximately $38000 to make this move work. If you take the actual tuition out of the equation (because we had to pay for that out of pocket), you’re still looking at $28000. If your job provides you with a housing stipend and moving expenses, it’s still about $5000-$10000 to move. IF you are lucky enough to be a resident of the EU already, it’s probably cheaper still but if you’re an American reading this… you’ll need to start saving. Having the money to move is the very first step of immigration and it’s not cheap no matter which way you’re doing it. 

So Aaron was accepted into the program, we got the email at 3am our time. I remember he opened it and we just laid there in bed unable to sleep. We were so excited and so freaked out, at the same time. We both knew that Aaron would probably be accepted so we had already started to make the plans to move but, when that letter actually comes, it’s a different wave of emotion that rolls over you. It’s the “reality wave.” There’s no longer an “if” attached, it’s just a “when” and that “when” has some serious weight to it. The second step in immigration is the reality of actually leaving. 

In order to immigrate we had to start reading through that reality. The paperwork was… intense. Thankfully Aaron’s school provided him with the paperwork in English and was able to help him file it. If you’re coming for a job you definitely scored because your job is almost totally responsible for filing for your visa and that will save you many hiccups and problems along the way. Our family, however, was required to go to a Schengen Visa office in either New York or San Francisco to file and pay for our immigration. At this point you need to be so dedicated to the plan that there’s just no way of talking yourself out of it because this is at the point where all that money you saved kind of hemorrhages out of your bank account and will possibly continue to do so even after you’ve arrived. I still haven't been able to stem that tide and I’ve been here for almost two months. The third step in Immigration is paying for it.

We had to head up to San Francisco, one of the most expensive cities in the US. We had to stay for three days to make sure we were cleared by immigration so we wouldn't get stuck coming back to fix something. We had to go as a family and plan to spend up to two hours at Schengen to finish everything. Each visa was approximately $650 per person (we have 3 people in our family). We had to prove that we had, in total, about $35000 in our bank account in order to convince the Danish government that we could handle the expense of living in their country without becoming a burden to their social system. Then came plane tickets, a month in an Air BnB while we searched for housing (if you read my other posts, you probably already know that we ended up needing another 3 weeks in an AirBnB because finding a rental in Copenhagen is ROUGH), and about $7000 for a deposit on a place once we found one. LOTS of BIG numbers. But the plus side is…

-The $35000 “Danish deposit” was just a provable sum for us. In other words, once you’ve proved that you have the sum in your bank account and have that approved by immigration; you can spend it on getting to and living in Denmark. This hasn't been the case for others I have met along the way, I'm not sure what the factors were for their immigration that made it different but for us it was just a bank slip showing the money was in our account. 

-That sum has to remain in your account for about 6 weeks or so, once you’ve received your approval from immigration you should immediately look for a place to live THEN buy plane tickets and book your AirBnB because there’s a slight chance you’ll be able to work with one of the many housing companies and get a place before your move. Thus, totally avoiding the AirBnB nonsense we’ve had to endure. The housing companies charge you a fee BUT it’s nominal compared to the expense of renting an AirBnB and doing it yourself. Learn from our mistake.

-I have a small child. She has been VERY expensive in this move. If you’re childless, these numbers decrease pretty significantly! If you have more than one child, well I think you can deduce what will happen. Our daughter has added at least $15000 to this process. 

-If you’re childless, clever and willing; you will look for a room-share slightly outside the big cities and you will be able to reduce these numbers further. 

-My husband’s chosen school is NOT on the approved FAFSA list. If you’re coming to the EU for education purposes, PICK A SCHOOL ON THE FAFSA LIST. I really cannot encourage this more. If you are thinking about a program not on the approved FAFSA list, heed my warning now. IT IS REALLY EXPENSIVE. Just double the tuition, that’s about how much money you’ll need to spend. Actually, yes, that’s almost exactly how much money it cost us. RDAM for the two year masters program is $10000 per year. 

Some other basic things to remember: 

-Americans do things fairly quick. Europeans DO NOT. For example… I want to open a bank account in the US, I walk into the bank and open the account. A hour or so later, account is open. In some cases the bank can even issue you a bank card on the same day. IN DENMARK, it took us two weeks to open a bank account… and it was an incredibly arduous process. On the weekends everyone is gone, phones turned off, good luck until Monday. If you are trying to do something quickly, forget about it and go with the flow. You cannot push them, you cannot argue with them, just be chill and be prepared to wait.

-There’s a lot of hoops. First you get here, THEN you file for your residency at immigration, THEN you get a place (or if you’ve already found a place, you’ve just saved yourself a huge step) and get a contract for residency, THEN to you file for your CPR# (basically the Danish version of a green card or social security number), THEN you wait up to two weeks for your CPR# and yellow healthcare card, THEN you can get a bank account going, THEN you can get things like a metro card or a cellphone. Each step in the process takes up to two weeks. I’m not great at math, so I’ll leave that up to you. 

-Learn the language as soon as possible. The idea that “everyone in Scandinavia speaks perfect English” only really applies to travelers, not to residents. You will feel so alone and so isolated very quickly if you don't learn the language. Just get the Duolingo or the Babbel Fish app and get to it. If you’re hoping to secure a job when you get here, it’s almost impossible if you don't speak the language. 62 CVs sent out should be proof enough that it’s really hard to get a job here if you’re coming from the outside in without knowing enough of the language to at least write your application for employment in the native language. 

So now that I’ve discouraged the crap out of you, I want to remind you that this is one of the most amazing and wonderful places I’ve ever been privileged to call home. I feel so welcome and so happy, even with all the insane financial stress and emotional pressure. Things do fall into place eventually if you’re resilient, persistent and willing to put yourself out there. I’ve just started to make friends and find work but the friends I’ve made I can tell are already lifetime friends and the work I’ve done is some of the most rewarding work I’ve ever produced. The Danes are incredibly encouraging of good, raw talent and they appreciate people that work hard. There’s a few catches to those statements that I’m sure plenty of people will argue with, but for myself and my family, these statements have been entirely true. 

Follow the rules and ask two people. If the answers they give contradict each other, find a third person and go with the majority answer. Always expect that you went too fast, missed something and that it will cost you money and time. If you do this, things will be a lot easier on you. Be like the Europeans and plan ahead to take your time, I think not doing this was one of the most brutal lessons we’ve learned. That and not fully understanding how the size of a country can effect the outcome of your plans and immigration… Denmark is tiny. 

Know that thousands of people immigrate all the time and for lots of different reasons, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And if you need a friend who has done it, know that I am here for you. Happy immigration.